Nothing's wrong, nothing's right

I thank you for coming into my life to make everything easy and better for me(:

Just being there is enough to save me.

( suddenly i just remember, omg. I'm referring to spade okay. )

what should i say ?

you're no longer the one, i know. I just can't stop thinking, that's very very irritating. I hope to erase everything about you, erase the fact. Let's just go back to the day i met you and that impression but still, that's lying because you changed. That's not you anymore.

that's not you anymore

As much as i thought i could get over fast, i can't.

I thought everything was going well but the moment the event end, i see my fear coming.

I dont have any distraction anymore.

I cried all over telling D , my heart is breaking, still breaking.

I didn't expect things to turn out this way. It's very bad.

I don't hate him for this. I've said how i feel to someone i trusted, someone who has no reason to cheat,lie or stab me. she knows how i feel towards this whole thing now. It doesnt matter if he will know, eventually he will in the future.

when you lose you gain.

i've gain something from it

He means so much to me. I just wish he knew because when I’m around him the say is a different blue and when he talks to me my knees begin to shake. The last thing I want is another heartbreak.If he would love me like I love himI could tell him that I will always be true but when I try to talk, I just don’t know what to say

because I know he doesn’t feel the same way.

And i thought that I could reach out to him. Like, maybe, in some way, he could hear what I was thinking. But he just turned away and gave his attention to her.I've never been more hurt in my life. The pain is real even if nobody knows. I pretend that I’m glad you went away. These walls are closing more every day and I’m dying inside, it's killing and nobody knowsit but me. Like a clown, I put on a show to everyone since it happened. Tears are the only words my heart use to express when my fake smile and laughter cannot cover my pain. Why is it that no matter how much pain the heart endures by holding on, the heart refuses to let go? why do i waste time getting hurt by someone when there another someone out there, somehow is waiting to make me happy?

The clock won't stop ticking just because im upset. I've missed out alot. Letting go is not the end of the world, it's a new beginning to a beautiful life ahead. I lost hope, i lost faith, i will find the beauty of it, real soon.

you'll never know how's the pain like

if you have never been there you cannot imagine how it feels and if you have you cannot imagine how it doesn't.

It's gonna ink on me

Let me say this first, in this post i'm not referring to anyone.

IT'S JUST PURELY STORY

It's up to your imagination, it's none of my business. I'm just typing this post because i actually wanted to throw eggs but the movie & mustafa date was cancelled that;s why i didn't manage to.

HAHA! i know damn lame shit, but whatever.

i continue my story from here

SO ONE DAY THE FUCKER MET THE BICTH. THE BITCH IS PRETTY SHAMELESS BUT ANYWAY ALOT PEOPLE DONT LIKE HER. EVEN PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HER. NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. I GUESS FUCKERs AND BITCHes ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER, THE SO UNPOPULAR PAIR. NO WONDER SO COMPATIBLE. WHEEEEE  IT'S HILARIOUS ISN'T IT.

SHAMELESS , FUCKING SHAMELESS TSK TSK

we all know the story, it's our secret k. shhhheshhh. (:

This seems so fucking childish but again whatever i think there are people who are more childish. laugh out loud.

one last time saying this because i feel shiok! LOL

SHAMELESSSSSSS

SO FUCKING DISGUSTED, OMG! YUCKS!

It's awesome.

Everything's so worth it, all the staying back, anger, tolerance, tears, concentration & etcc.. (: Our hardwork, it;s worth. Tomorrow's the big day, i know a few of the important one cannot make it but still, i have s p a d e to help me video, after that he'll have to rush to work. That's good, i dont know who else going, but i think one is enough, the rest are working and i know their soul and heart will be with me while having a tough time at work. (:

Counting down 20 over hours to the runway

and yet, i'm not done with it man, still have to sew and sew and sew, i'm gonna make a wing and a magic wand! (: Don't know if it's too much for the model? hmmmmm

2weeks, for a 5-7 min show. It's really worth when you're there to see how we use recycle material to make 6 outfits.

If you're free, do come by k (: It's 7pm @ Dhoby Ghaut Green, just right opposite parkmall and plaza sing (:

Goodluck to us (:

xoxoxooxooxox

Thank you, i feel bad when i thought you all didnt get it for me

i love the both of you (:

How often do we tell ourself we can but actually we can't?

Heartbroken. It happens again and again but each time it just makes me stronger, i guess? Don't you think so? Am i much stronger than before?

Towards you.I totally have nothing to say to you. maybe, thank you for bringing shit to my life. I will be thankful in the future because you make me stronger! still, maybe we are better when we're just friends. Goodbye my love.

Everything happens for a reason. When i looked back, everything seem planned. maybe whoever that is planning the story of my life thinks that i have gone through enough of heartbreaking stuff. Therefore, even before this happen,I am planned to meet someone that is closer to me,able to provide tissue and doesnt want to see me in tears anymore and all my friends were there for me. And i mean ALL.

Me.The heartbroken girl. I'm still upset over it but i know i will feel better as time goes by. i will. It's just a matter of time. Maybe i was never happy when i'm with you. Maybe you're not the one i need, not the one i want. Maybe right from the start, when you lied. I have lost trust. Maybe from the moment when i got drunk and you were not there, i knew, you are not the one. Maybe i was never brave enough to face the truth. Maybe i know im trying too hard to get your attention, and i shouldnt even be trying because i will get the attention i need if you really care. ( i need alot of attention, if you know me well) but apparently we don't know each other well enough. If not all these wouldnt happen. we started out fast, of cos we ended fast. Let go & let go.  Brave the truth.

The heartbreaker cheryl ( geor remember this? ) Im not for anything serious now. Now that i am with myself, and no worries, no burden. I'll just enjoy being alone, being in crowd, being the star of the night. Now that i have alot of time, therefore this holiday will be hell lots of fun, surprise and shocking stuff. Even without you, my plan still goes on that's a sure thing.

Georgina. She was there right from the start. She knows how i fall and stand each time. I dont hate you for what you said last night, i know i should be concentrating on my assessment now. yes, i hope i dont screw my assessment up this time. I already screw my maths class i think for not attending for dont know how many lessons. you're my love, be strong k! i'm always always here though all the times i dont give good opinion or never even give any.

Classmates. Thank you so much.

Sunday steamboat @ my place. I want to fill my life, for this period of time with lots of activity so as to not think of him. Even so, i still miss him. BBQ & steamboat?! i think is a lil too much. who should i invite? hmmm..

Tattoo. Gonna do it in photoshop and send over by tomorrow.

so for now,

I am addicted to wang wang !

I didnt sleep well, i dreamt of baby again. I miss him too much or what?! Been dreaming of him.

Actually the heart aches.....